My double life

I feel I've done this kind of back to front, as yesterday's post was a nice snowy story, but didn't really say anything about me, or my tinnitus situation.

As it says on my profile, I run a double life - unfortunately, I'm not able to fly, climb walls, or get away with wearing tights - but I do have a rather unique position when it comes to tinnitus, and that is that as a DJ, I figure I've probably caused as much as I've suffered, and as a TV editor, I need to be able to focus on clarity of sound.

So one half of me is searching for clear silence and perfect hearing while the other half of me has the potential to worsen my condition each time I stand in a DJ booth.

The DJing side of things is manageable by simply using earplugs. As a DJ, I've constantly got a headphone over one of my ears, with the other one left open to the live (100 decibel) sound. This means two things happen. The first is that I have to turn up the headphones really loud to be able to hear the music coming out of them properly, and the second is that my right ear takes a heck of a bashing from the music playing to the dance floor.

However, by popping an earplug into my right ear, it not only protects it from the loud music on the dance floor, but also means I don't have to turn up the headphones quite as much, thereby protecting my left ear. And of course, it goes without saying that when I don't have my headphones on, I quickly jam an earplug into my left ear. As I use quite expensive earplugs (as opposed to the cheaper foam ones) this all means I'm able to protect my hearing, hopefully stop my tinnitus worsening, all the time still able to hear the music as clear as before.

As a TV editor though, it's sometimes a bit more tricky. Take for instance the fishing programme i just worked on - simple sounds like a fish splash can sometimes be lost amongst the ringing of my ears - all something that's easily helped by turning up the volume of the speakers - but at 33, I'm sometimes wonder if I'm in danger of needing to play the TV at the same level as someone with serious hearing damage, just so I can hear everything I need to.

It sometimes strikes people I tell about this funny that TV, as such a visual medium, relies so heavily on sound and attention to its detail - but it's very much as important as the pictures that flash up on screen - and the more care and attention I need to show the sound due to the ringing tinnitus, actually helps in the long run - as I'm much more attentive than many of my peers, because I need to prove to myself that the damage I've caused will never affect my editing career.

This justification aside, I do wish I didn't need to. When I do catch the ringing in my ears, I do get a pang of regret at the fact I did it to myself - but much like the inflated stomach of someone who's eaten too well, I can at least console myself that all the years playing the drums and DJing were spent doing something I truly love, and though they have damaged my ears and left me with tinnitus, the only thing I'd change if I had the chance was just to tell that idiot 14 year old to stick in some ear-plugs!