Last night’s Tai Chi lesson was great, and I slept much better without the need to have my radio on.
On a completely different subject, writing this blog has really got me thinking about me listening to my ipod and the effect that might have on my tinnitus.
Much has been said about MP3 players and the damage their use can have on your hearing if not used with care but I still see evidence every day that people either aren’t aware of this, or just choose to ignore the advice given.
I love listening to my ipod, but I really do my best to limit how much I use it. I wasn’t listening to it this morning on my way to work, and noticed how loud someone’s music was on the tube. They were sitting three seats away from me and I could still make out clearly what music they were listening to, and even found myself singing along in my head! And that was over the general noise of the tube, which is so worrying. I often feel like tapping people on the shoulder and telling them to turn their players down, but I suspect my interference wouldn’t be welcome by most.
Now, whilst I know listening to my ipod at a high volume or for a long duration would be no good for my hearing in the long run, and in the short term would only serve to make my tinnitus worse, I do find sometimes that listening to one can be helpful when my tinnitus is too distracting. I find them quite anti-social though, so wouldn’t use it around friends or in the office, so I have to use other tactics in those situations.
I try to have my ipod on as low a volume as possible, which is made much easier by the fact I have a volume control on the wire of my earphones. My earphones are also noise-reducing so I don’t have to turn the volume up so much when there’s background noise. Small things like this mean I can still enjoy listening to my music whilst minimising the risk of making my tinnitus worse.
Part of me thinks I shouldn’t really use an MP3 player at all, but I am stubborn and don’t want having tinnitus to mean that I stop doing something I love – listening to music. I believe being sensible is the key and I honestly don’t think my tinnitus has been made worse by using one. As I mentioned, using my ipod can be a positive thing when I’m finding my tinnitus particularly bad, it’s just important to remember not to turn it up too high when my tinnitus is very loud!
Wednesday, 11 February 2009
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
Tinnitus - it won't get you out of doing the hoovering...
So today's self-awareness moment is this. I can't get out of hoovering because of my tinnitus.
One of the results of writing this blog is that I'm focusing not only on the tinnitus itself, but also the potential out there to make it worse. Take for instance the new studio I'm building, where I'll be DJing and editing out of site in the house (rather than taking up the spare bedroom). It's a sound-proofed room, it's (almost) air-tight, and it's a very close space. This means that most sounds are very dead, but also in an odd way - amplified.
So simple things like drilling, hammering or even sawing when I'm building this room take on a new level of loudness. It did occur to me that maybe I should pop in an ear plug or something when doing all of these - but surely a drill for 30 seconds isn't going to make things worse is it? Well, last night, lying in bed, starting at the ceiling, I've got to say there was a point increase in the level of my tinnitus. Was it due to the drilling etc, was it due to having a hot bath? Or was it actually just the same, but I wanted it to be worse.
Why? So I could get out of doing the hoovering. Although I've was instantly told that I'd be hoovering no matter what, and that using tinnitus as an excuse was about as strong as saying I didn't want to scare the cats...
Now, some may think that this is all a little flippant - but this is the crux of this entire blog for me - it's how I deal with my tinnitus. I posted a reply to a comment elsewhere on here that as I know I'm 100% responsible for my tinnitus, and it was just my stupidity that led me to keep on playing the drums with music blaring as loud as possible, play concerts and practise sessions without earplugs, and DJ in clubs over and over without any protection whatsoever - if I were to really dwell on this, I would probably go completely the other way, and be very down, very depressed, and very angry with myself for what I've done to my ears.
Don't get me wrong, I'm very sad (and mildly angry) at the teenage John who thought he was invincible, but I choose not to go down that path too far. It's here, it's not going to go away, and (currently) I'm dealing with it to the best of my ability - and it's only affecting my night's sleep, all other parts of my life are 'dealable'.
So when I talk to people about my tinnitus, it's never with a cloud of doom or sorrow, or even would I accept the pity from them (oddly, when I told my mum, she had that head-cocked 'awwww' look on her face) - I choose just to live with it, deal with it, and as a coping strategy, try to add some (ill-conceived) humour when describing my situation to others.
One of the results of writing this blog is that I'm focusing not only on the tinnitus itself, but also the potential out there to make it worse. Take for instance the new studio I'm building, where I'll be DJing and editing out of site in the house (rather than taking up the spare bedroom). It's a sound-proofed room, it's (almost) air-tight, and it's a very close space. This means that most sounds are very dead, but also in an odd way - amplified.
So simple things like drilling, hammering or even sawing when I'm building this room take on a new level of loudness. It did occur to me that maybe I should pop in an ear plug or something when doing all of these - but surely a drill for 30 seconds isn't going to make things worse is it? Well, last night, lying in bed, starting at the ceiling, I've got to say there was a point increase in the level of my tinnitus. Was it due to the drilling etc, was it due to having a hot bath? Or was it actually just the same, but I wanted it to be worse.
Why? So I could get out of doing the hoovering. Although I've was instantly told that I'd be hoovering no matter what, and that using tinnitus as an excuse was about as strong as saying I didn't want to scare the cats...
Now, some may think that this is all a little flippant - but this is the crux of this entire blog for me - it's how I deal with my tinnitus. I posted a reply to a comment elsewhere on here that as I know I'm 100% responsible for my tinnitus, and it was just my stupidity that led me to keep on playing the drums with music blaring as loud as possible, play concerts and practise sessions without earplugs, and DJ in clubs over and over without any protection whatsoever - if I were to really dwell on this, I would probably go completely the other way, and be very down, very depressed, and very angry with myself for what I've done to my ears.
Don't get me wrong, I'm very sad (and mildly angry) at the teenage John who thought he was invincible, but I choose not to go down that path too far. It's here, it's not going to go away, and (currently) I'm dealing with it to the best of my ability - and it's only affecting my night's sleep, all other parts of my life are 'dealable'.
So when I talk to people about my tinnitus, it's never with a cloud of doom or sorrow, or even would I accept the pity from them (oddly, when I told my mum, she had that head-cocked 'awwww' look on her face) - I choose just to live with it, deal with it, and as a coping strategy, try to add some (ill-conceived) humour when describing my situation to others.
Music and Moonlight...
As my Tinnitus was particularly loud last night, I listened to one of my favourite acoustic albums using my pillow speaker. I got the speaker from the RNID - it's about the size of the palm of my hand, and I plug it into my personal CD player which sits on the floor by the bed.
The speaker has been an absolute godsend for getting to sleep, especially when my Tinnitus is louder than normal, or I have an insistent ‘burst’ of noise that I need to distract myself from. Last night I managed to get to sleep after 5 or 6 songs, which is pretty good for me. Having my own music source means I don't disturb my husband, so I can relax without worrying about him getting to sleep.
I was told by a hearing therapist that the best music to listen to is instrumental, as you this stops you from listening for the words and singing along in your head. The idea is that you have the volume set at a level so you can still hear the Tinnitus, but your mind is distracted by another noise and your brain ‘forgets’ about the Tinnitus, in the same way that it forgets about the sound of the fridge or the air conditioning etc. The other option is to listen to nature’s sounds – but personally I’ve never been a fan of the sound of running water as a relaxing noise as it just has me running to the bathroom. So I’ll stick to what works for me.
Music is on almost 24 hours a day in our house – I grew up with my Dad’s trad jazz and Mozart on in the background, and I now switch on the radio or put a CD on whenever I walk into the house. One great side effect is that the children are growing up with a real love of music – from the Beatles to the Fratellis, via Led Zeppelin, the Rolling Stones, Abba, Sugar Babes, Boomtown Rats, Gomez, Jack Johnson, The Primitives and a host of other stuff from 60s to the 80s. I encourage them not to listen to it too loud, and I'll try to make sure they don’t get into the habit of using head-phones until they are much older.
I don’t think my Tinnitus came as a result of loud music, but I can’t be totally sure, and I want to protect my children as long as possible.
The speaker has been an absolute godsend for getting to sleep, especially when my Tinnitus is louder than normal, or I have an insistent ‘burst’ of noise that I need to distract myself from. Last night I managed to get to sleep after 5 or 6 songs, which is pretty good for me. Having my own music source means I don't disturb my husband, so I can relax without worrying about him getting to sleep.
I was told by a hearing therapist that the best music to listen to is instrumental, as you this stops you from listening for the words and singing along in your head. The idea is that you have the volume set at a level so you can still hear the Tinnitus, but your mind is distracted by another noise and your brain ‘forgets’ about the Tinnitus, in the same way that it forgets about the sound of the fridge or the air conditioning etc. The other option is to listen to nature’s sounds – but personally I’ve never been a fan of the sound of running water as a relaxing noise as it just has me running to the bathroom. So I’ll stick to what works for me.
Music is on almost 24 hours a day in our house – I grew up with my Dad’s trad jazz and Mozart on in the background, and I now switch on the radio or put a CD on whenever I walk into the house. One great side effect is that the children are growing up with a real love of music – from the Beatles to the Fratellis, via Led Zeppelin, the Rolling Stones, Abba, Sugar Babes, Boomtown Rats, Gomez, Jack Johnson, The Primitives and a host of other stuff from 60s to the 80s. I encourage them not to listen to it too loud, and I'll try to make sure they don’t get into the habit of using head-phones until they are much older.
I don’t think my Tinnitus came as a result of loud music, but I can’t be totally sure, and I want to protect my children as long as possible.
Tuesday 10th February
I didn’t find it easy going to sleep last night. I felt like I had a thousand things going round in my head after a really busy day, and my tinnitus was bothering me too – a combination of things which aren’t ideal!
Listening to the radio helped me to switch off and eventually drift off. Even though I tend to concentrate on what’s being said or the lyrics of the music, I find this helps because when I’m concentrating on them I’m not thinking about all the things that were stopping me from sleeping in the first place. And of course it helps to mask the tinnitus as well – being in a completely quiet room is sometimes the worst thing I can do!
Something else which I find to be a great help for my tinnitus is Tai Chi Chuan (Tai Chi), which I do two evenings a week – tonight being one of them. It’s an internal martial art and can be incredibly calming and I have always come away from my classes feeling relaxed, which of course has a very positive impact on my tinnitus.
I would recommend that everyone tries it at least once. It is a really complex art, with many different aspects to it, but one key thing we do each lesson is relaxed, almost meditative breathing, which helps to calm the system down completely and all stresses and anxieties seem to wash away.
This is actually in line with advice given by a Cognitive Behaviour Therapy expert – she said many of her patients with tinnitus see a marked improvement by just practicing breathing exercises each day. So, even if Tai Chi isn’t for you, perhaps learning to breathe ‘properly’ could be something worth trying – and it won’t cost you anything!
Listening to the radio helped me to switch off and eventually drift off. Even though I tend to concentrate on what’s being said or the lyrics of the music, I find this helps because when I’m concentrating on them I’m not thinking about all the things that were stopping me from sleeping in the first place. And of course it helps to mask the tinnitus as well – being in a completely quiet room is sometimes the worst thing I can do!
Something else which I find to be a great help for my tinnitus is Tai Chi Chuan (Tai Chi), which I do two evenings a week – tonight being one of them. It’s an internal martial art and can be incredibly calming and I have always come away from my classes feeling relaxed, which of course has a very positive impact on my tinnitus.
I would recommend that everyone tries it at least once. It is a really complex art, with many different aspects to it, but one key thing we do each lesson is relaxed, almost meditative breathing, which helps to calm the system down completely and all stresses and anxieties seem to wash away.
This is actually in line with advice given by a Cognitive Behaviour Therapy expert – she said many of her patients with tinnitus see a marked improvement by just practicing breathing exercises each day. So, even if Tai Chi isn’t for you, perhaps learning to breathe ‘properly’ could be something worth trying – and it won’t cost you anything!
Monday, 9 February 2009
Busy Monday
After 2 days off work last week (caused by the snow), I drove through the ice and slush to a meeting this morning, ate my lunch in the car, & returned to the office for a long client appointment this afternoon. Luckily I enjoy my job so I don’t mind being busy. And it means that I hardly notice my Tinnitus for a few hours because I’m completely absorbed in what I’m doing and I don't notice the noises. The downside of a busy day is that the noises are louder than usual when I get home. Today there was a sudden volume increase in my right ear almost the moment I walked into the house after work. My heart sank - these periods of increased noise can go on for several hours or several days. But I am trying to be positive!
Squeak/hiss/hum - all words I've used trying to describing the noises I hear. I have 2 or 3 different frequencies, all high pitched, some always there, others intermittent. I hear them in both ears. The lower sound sounds like the humming / interference-type noise that the TV used to make when a station finished broadcasting late at night. The higher pitched sounds are thin squeaking/squealing noises, which are either at a constant pitch, or which 'wobble' up & down a bit. Right now there's also a background hiss which I can hear if I really concentrate.
But for me it's not the actual noise which matters. It's the incessant nature of the noise which causes distress. The knowledge that it won't go away. I went through a really low period when I couldn't see how I could possibly cope with the never-ending noise. However these days I feel more positive and determined not to let it dominate my life. It's part of me, & now that I know I will spend a good part of each day not noticing it, I will be able to relax and sleep tonight, despite the noise.
Squeak/hiss/hum - all words I've used trying to describing the noises I hear. I have 2 or 3 different frequencies, all high pitched, some always there, others intermittent. I hear them in both ears. The lower sound sounds like the humming / interference-type noise that the TV used to make when a station finished broadcasting late at night. The higher pitched sounds are thin squeaking/squealing noises, which are either at a constant pitch, or which 'wobble' up & down a bit. Right now there's also a background hiss which I can hear if I really concentrate.
But for me it's not the actual noise which matters. It's the incessant nature of the noise which causes distress. The knowledge that it won't go away. I went through a really low period when I couldn't see how I could possibly cope with the never-ending noise. However these days I feel more positive and determined not to let it dominate my life. It's part of me, & now that I know I will spend a good part of each day not noticing it, I will be able to relax and sleep tonight, despite the noise.
Monday 9th February
As I suspected, today so far hasn’t been quite as relaxed as the weekend was! The tubes were delayed and jam-packed this morning, which always adds to the Monday morning stress. When I was on the train my tinnitus wasn’t particularly prominent, but I think that is probably because it is so loud on the trains, which is not a good thing in the long run!
By the time I got to King’s Cross though, my tinnitus was really quite loud, possibly because of the stress of my journey and the noise I experienced along the way – not a great start to a day in the office.
As the morning went on my tinnitus was making it difficult to concentrate and everything I did seemed to be taking all the more effort. Sometimes having things to focus on helps to distract me from the tinnitus – playing sport, reading, watching a film etc – but in this case trying to focus made it all the more prominent. Somewhat of a vicious circle!
I went for a walk at lunchtime which I often find helps, and it really did. Exercise is something I can usually rely on to ease my tinnitus, so as well as all the other benefits of staying fit, having tinnitus is another incentive to stay active. It doesn’t even have to be as strenuous as going for a run or to the gym, a fairly brisk 10-15 minute walk can do me the world of good.
So far, it has been much easier to concentrate this afternoon, which is great – I just hope the journey home is better than it was this morning!
By the time I got to King’s Cross though, my tinnitus was really quite loud, possibly because of the stress of my journey and the noise I experienced along the way – not a great start to a day in the office.
As the morning went on my tinnitus was making it difficult to concentrate and everything I did seemed to be taking all the more effort. Sometimes having things to focus on helps to distract me from the tinnitus – playing sport, reading, watching a film etc – but in this case trying to focus made it all the more prominent. Somewhat of a vicious circle!
I went for a walk at lunchtime which I often find helps, and it really did. Exercise is something I can usually rely on to ease my tinnitus, so as well as all the other benefits of staying fit, having tinnitus is another incentive to stay active. It doesn’t even have to be as strenuous as going for a run or to the gym, a fairly brisk 10-15 minute walk can do me the world of good.
So far, it has been much easier to concentrate this afternoon, which is great – I just hope the journey home is better than it was this morning!
My double life
I feel I've done this kind of back to front, as yesterday's post was a nice snowy story, but didn't really say anything about me, or my tinnitus situation.
As it says on my profile, I run a double life - unfortunately, I'm not able to fly, climb walls, or get away with wearing tights - but I do have a rather unique position when it comes to tinnitus, and that is that as a DJ, I figure I've probably caused as much as I've suffered, and as a TV editor, I need to be able to focus on clarity of sound.
So one half of me is searching for clear silence and perfect hearing while the other half of me has the potential to worsen my condition each time I stand in a DJ booth.
The DJing side of things is manageable by simply using earplugs. As a DJ, I've constantly got a headphone over one of my ears, with the other one left open to the live (100 decibel) sound. This means two things happen. The first is that I have to turn up the headphones really loud to be able to hear the music coming out of them properly, and the second is that my right ear takes a heck of a bashing from the music playing to the dance floor.
However, by popping an earplug into my right ear, it not only protects it from the loud music on the dance floor, but also means I don't have to turn up the headphones quite as much, thereby protecting my left ear. And of course, it goes without saying that when I don't have my headphones on, I quickly jam an earplug into my left ear. As I use quite expensive earplugs (as opposed to the cheaper foam ones) this all means I'm able to protect my hearing, hopefully stop my tinnitus worsening, all the time still able to hear the music as clear as before.
As a TV editor though, it's sometimes a bit more tricky. Take for instance the fishing programme i just worked on - simple sounds like a fish splash can sometimes be lost amongst the ringing of my ears - all something that's easily helped by turning up the volume of the speakers - but at 33, I'm sometimes wonder if I'm in danger of needing to play the TV at the same level as someone with serious hearing damage, just so I can hear everything I need to.
It sometimes strikes people I tell about this funny that TV, as such a visual medium, relies so heavily on sound and attention to its detail - but it's very much as important as the pictures that flash up on screen - and the more care and attention I need to show the sound due to the ringing tinnitus, actually helps in the long run - as I'm much more attentive than many of my peers, because I need to prove to myself that the damage I've caused will never affect my editing career.
This justification aside, I do wish I didn't need to. When I do catch the ringing in my ears, I do get a pang of regret at the fact I did it to myself - but much like the inflated stomach of someone who's eaten too well, I can at least console myself that all the years playing the drums and DJing were spent doing something I truly love, and though they have damaged my ears and left me with tinnitus, the only thing I'd change if I had the chance was just to tell that idiot 14 year old to stick in some ear-plugs!
As it says on my profile, I run a double life - unfortunately, I'm not able to fly, climb walls, or get away with wearing tights - but I do have a rather unique position when it comes to tinnitus, and that is that as a DJ, I figure I've probably caused as much as I've suffered, and as a TV editor, I need to be able to focus on clarity of sound.
So one half of me is searching for clear silence and perfect hearing while the other half of me has the potential to worsen my condition each time I stand in a DJ booth.
The DJing side of things is manageable by simply using earplugs. As a DJ, I've constantly got a headphone over one of my ears, with the other one left open to the live (100 decibel) sound. This means two things happen. The first is that I have to turn up the headphones really loud to be able to hear the music coming out of them properly, and the second is that my right ear takes a heck of a bashing from the music playing to the dance floor.
However, by popping an earplug into my right ear, it not only protects it from the loud music on the dance floor, but also means I don't have to turn up the headphones quite as much, thereby protecting my left ear. And of course, it goes without saying that when I don't have my headphones on, I quickly jam an earplug into my left ear. As I use quite expensive earplugs (as opposed to the cheaper foam ones) this all means I'm able to protect my hearing, hopefully stop my tinnitus worsening, all the time still able to hear the music as clear as before.
As a TV editor though, it's sometimes a bit more tricky. Take for instance the fishing programme i just worked on - simple sounds like a fish splash can sometimes be lost amongst the ringing of my ears - all something that's easily helped by turning up the volume of the speakers - but at 33, I'm sometimes wonder if I'm in danger of needing to play the TV at the same level as someone with serious hearing damage, just so I can hear everything I need to.
It sometimes strikes people I tell about this funny that TV, as such a visual medium, relies so heavily on sound and attention to its detail - but it's very much as important as the pictures that flash up on screen - and the more care and attention I need to show the sound due to the ringing tinnitus, actually helps in the long run - as I'm much more attentive than many of my peers, because I need to prove to myself that the damage I've caused will never affect my editing career.
This justification aside, I do wish I didn't need to. When I do catch the ringing in my ears, I do get a pang of regret at the fact I did it to myself - but much like the inflated stomach of someone who's eaten too well, I can at least console myself that all the years playing the drums and DJing were spent doing something I truly love, and though they have damaged my ears and left me with tinnitus, the only thing I'd change if I had the chance was just to tell that idiot 14 year old to stick in some ear-plugs!
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