Sunday 8th February

It's finally snowing heavily in Glasgow. After a week of reading in the news how bad England (and northern parts of Scotland) have had the snow and wondering if we'd have any, Glasgow has finally had a big fall.

What does this have to do with tinnitus? Silence. And that, of course, is what makes my tinnitus the loudest. However, this has had the bonus of helping me start this blog - as we've been told to do what you're not supposed to do when you have tinnitus - focus on it. So, standing outside in the snow, in the deadening silence that accompanies a snowfall, I was able to close my eyes, and really focus on what was happening in my ears.

And then my right ear was hit hard with a snow-ball from my wife! Though the ringing that THAT caused soon subsided, I was able once again to stand still close my eyes, and hear the sound of silence that I now live with. I've found it's now two tones - one high pitched and one lower howling kind of sound (as though I've held a shell to my ear). Doesn't sound like as much fun as a snow-ball fight really, now does it?

But the thing is - I only notice it when i notice it. My tinnitus accompanies wherever I go, whenever I chose to notice it - but in a world of distracting noises, be it car engines, the hum of a fan in a computer, the zing/ring of strip lighting (which I sometimes wonder if it's the sound of my energy being sucked out of me!) or even just the gentle purr of a cat sitting next to me when I'm trying to get to sleep - it can be masked easily and be only a part of my life when I want complete silence.

So, if I were to take anything from tonight's snow fall in a self-awareness way, it would be to not focus on the ringing in my ears, to make sure there's always a cat available at bed-time, and next time I'm standing in the snow taking in the silence, I'll keep one eye open and get ready to duck!!